http://www.theroot.com/an-open-letter-f ... 1818993839Hey, Chauncey!
I’m sorry about the frown, but it’s just weird for me when white people name their pets human names like Alexander or Guinevere—not even Gwen, but the whole-ass Guinevere! Whatever happened to names like “Fido” or “Mr. Wiggles”? Expecting me to use all those syllables when I’m talking to a dog is white privilege. Black people get two syllables, that’s it. Your people should do the same!
Anyway, we thought we needed to have a talk with y’all because, on numerous occasions, we’ve tried to have this chat with your owners and it always fails. We figured that you guys could bark some sense into their heads, since they act as if they can understand you more than they do us.
Basically, what we want to say is: Y’all need to chill.
Lately, we have noticed you walking around and chilling in places that you shouldn’t be. At first, it was riding around in cars. We used to assume that when a dog was in a car, it was on the way to the veterinarian or headed to the dog park. But then we’d see you waiting in the car at the grocery store, and we wondered what the fuck was going on. “OK, they must’ve stopped to pick up some Gravy Train on the way home from the vet,” we thought.
We were wrong.
lol my favorite one yet
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