At some point birthdays become passe’ to you, which is dangerous if you’re married. As a guy, there’s a couple things you must remember even though it’s difficult: first, what day your wife was born on; and second, to give her a gift on that day. It’s even more complicated than it sounds. The secret is to understand your wife well enough that you know the inside stuff, things she never says but you know she’s thinking, like how much she likes it when I let her drive while I read my phone.
Luckily, Facebook warns you about birthdays a couple days in advance, and I've got the gift-giving part down too. It may not seem obvious at first but when you think about it, it makes sense psychologically: my sub-100 pound 5-foot tall wife, Gwynne, likes to operate heavy equipment; the bigger the better, and nothing that can be driven around your yard is bigger than an 80-foot man-lift. I’m proud to say I figured that out by myself, and man-lifts are surprisingly easy to surprise the wife with - Gwynne was sure surprised; I could tell by how long it took her to say something when it was delivered.
Everybody in our family got into it: my youngest son, Haven, called from Peru to ask about how high she could go; my oldest son, Heath, let her use his rock climbing safety harness for when she was dangling over the side of the basket, and our daughter, Heather, wrote “Happy Birthday Mom” in chalk on the driveway to remind her it was her birthday when she looked down. I think all those things helped Gwynne pressure-wash the walls faster. It's pretty clear to anyone that the Hash family went all out on this birthday.
Birthday
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SuburbanFarmer
- Posts: 25071
- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:50 am
- Location: Ohio
Re: Birthday
That is some meta shit... 
