Facebook Friends

[Martin Hash]

Friendster and MySpace came & went in the 2000s without me knowing anything about them. Even though I was deeply involved in the computer business at the time creating a breakthrough 3D computer animation application, I was too consumed to see anything else that was going on outside my bubble, and trendy, kid-oriented online gabfest wouldn't have appealed even if I ever heard of them, which I hadn't. Facebook, however, was another story. In 2009, I went on safari in Africa for a year, and I set-up a Facebook page, something I'd just heard of, to keep in touch with the trip's details. I didn't use it much but I knew it existed. A few years later, several Identity Theft pages using pictures of me from the Internet convinced me to set-up a second Facebook page to see what happened. (Facebook's fraud reporting mechanism quickly removed the scam pages, and while I was traveling, I'd get messages from Facebook warning me of possible fraudulent activity.) I pretty much forgot about that second page: it only had 1 Friend, which was my first page.

Last year I thought I'd try to get famous. I'd been semi-famous before during my computer years, back when people used to listen to me, and I figured it was the fame because nobody listens to me now. I set up Instagram and Twitter accounts, and remembering that old “Martin Hash” Facebook page, I decided it would be my famous me, so I started requesting Friends. About 100 Friend Requests were pending so I added all of them but I was soon inundated with single women from god-knows-where all wanting to message me about “What you do tonight?” along with a sexy profile. Gay men too. I deleted virtually all of that first group, leaving only distant family members who were confused which page was me.

I began Googling how to add Facebook Friends you didn't know, and decided to limit my selection to only people who lived in my town, Vancouver, Washington. At first my Friends List grew pretty quickly, 200 in the first month, apparently those people knew me from my political activities and campaign billboards, but it started to get more difficult after that. After lots of requests, three-quarters of which were ignored, I slowly got to 900 Friends, which seemed like a lot, but I'm a bit anal-retentive, I wanted to reach the 1000 mark but I just couldn't get anymore, so I decided to give it a break.

The end of year was rolling around, and I gave it one last push to see if I could make my goal before New Year's, and I did! I was telling my wife, Gwynne, that I was at 999, and she suggested I add her. I hadn't thought of that? 1000 Friends on Facebook, woohoo! Now I'm going ask somebody for some money so I can buy a cup of coffee.

Facebook Friends s.JPG

[DrYouth]

Why do you want to be famous?

It's so cliché.

[Martin Hash]

Why do you want to be famous?

It's so cliché.

"People admire the rich and respect the famous but dismiss the accomplished." - me

"Nothing offers more credibility than fame." - me

[SuburbanFarmer]

Why do you want to be famous?

It's so cliché.

He needs validation. The grave yawns before him, cold and uncaring.

You're a psych, you already know this.

[Montegriffo]

Why do you want to be famous?

It's so cliché.

The grave yawns before him, cold and uncaring.

Ouch...

[DrYouth]

"People... respect the famous

ORLY?

[Martin Hash]

I thought you were the one who made the distinction between famous and infamous?

[DrYouth]

Nah...

Infamous is like serial killers and evil villains... Osama bin Laden was infamous.... and the Colombine kids.

Most fame in our modern world lacks respect.

It's shallow and fickle. Fame is fair weathered. Easy come and easy go.
Here one day and gone the next.
I wouldn't struggle for it myself...

I recommend putting your energy into more durable relationships and legacies.

[Martin Hash]

It’s going to make a great comedy bit. It’s already provided a lot of entertainment.

p.s. After I finish my novel, I’m going to finish my comedy routine.

[DrYouth]

It’s going to make a great comedy bit. It’s already provided a lot of entertainment.

What?

Your quest for fame?

p.s. After I finish my novel, I’m going to finish my comedy routine.

Hmmmmm....

I could maybe see this...

Are you thinking live comedy?

Maybe a book? Your writing is pretty good I would say...
Live comedy takes mad skillz... timing, delivery, it's an art form only some of which can be learned.... mostly it's talent and practice.