Junk Food Eve

[Martin Hash]

I grew up relatively poor; in wealth, not in attitude, because as a kid I had no idea we were poor. Never-the-less, my brother & I were very conscientious about money, expressed as a feeling of guilt about spending what little we had on junk food. Candy was a special treat for Easter, Halloween & Christmas, and I could only watch enviously while other kids ate potato chips and drank soda pop on Boy Scout outings and in school. Interestingly, my wife, Gwynne, had a similar upbringing. This resulted in the formation of a family tradition: our very first married Christmas Eve together, even though we were poor students, we went to the grocery store and bought whatever junk food we wanted, the junkier the better. I can remember my delight eating an entire jar of maraschino cherries, a whole box of Ding-dongs, a can of smoked oysters, and drinking a quart of strawberry milk by myself.

My kids grew up with Junk Food Eve grocery shopping. They looked forward to it as much as their presents in the morning; it was part of Christmas, but we had to come up with a rule, you couldn't complain about what somebody else bought: “We have Gummie Bears at home,” “I already bought that,” “oooh, that's yucky.” On Junk Food Eve, everything goes; you want dried shrimp but it tastes nasty so you only eat 1 then throw it away, go for it; eat candy until you throw-up, of course; stuff left over for 2 years, who cares?

Shopping Carts.jpg

Unfortunately, life happens, everybody grew up, had their own commitments. Gwynne & I traveled the world, and Junk Food Eve became whatever exotic treats we could buy in a Northumbria bodega, or a street market in Damascus, but we imagined what we could buy in an American grocery store, and I'm telling you, nacho-filled pretzel bites are to-die-for on Christmas Eve, I don't care who you are. Eventually, a grandchild was born, Gwynne & I returned home, the kids again came to the house for Junk Food Eve. My daughter, Heather, wanted to set Shopping Time so that her fiancé, David, could go: she thought Junk Food Eve would be right up his alley, and I suspect she was checking out his junk food credentials to see if they met marrying-level expectations? I can reassure you that David passed with flying colors: fruit Roll-ups, a spicy pickle, a coconut, a dragonfruit, Cracker Jacks, Nilla Wafers, banana Moon Pie, grape Kool-Aid Bursts, Ben & Jerry's Urban Bourbon icecream, and much more. In fact, an entire shopping cart full - 3 full shopping carts of junk food to be exact, and Gwynne paid for it all. The cashier was having a fit about our diet until Gwynne explained it to her. The cashier's face went totally blank; she finally said, “I wish somebody would do that for me.”

Junk Food.jpg

[DrYouth]

LOL

Great post!

Filling a bit nauseous now...

[heydaralon]

I'm just thinking about those starving kids in Africa would may be reading this post about you gorging yourself and wasting food. It makes me sad that you are downplaying their struggles. I'm not really okay with this thread, and I would politely ask that you delete it.