Engagement Coconut

[Martin Hash]

There's no secret at my house that I wanted my daughter, Heather, to get engaged because engagement leads to marriage, and marriage leads to grandchildren, and my house ain't getting any younger. I kept telling Heather, “The maze needs children to run through it,” but she was always shushing me. “You could be jumping the gun a little bit,” my wife, Gwynne, cautioned but I was not deterred: I bought Heather an Engagement coconut to get things rolling.

Coconut c.jpg

“A coconut?” you may ask. “What's a coconut got to do with anything?” Now, you see that's the genius of getting an Engagement coconut and putting it on the counter so everyone can ask about it.
“What's with the coconut?”
“Heather's getting married.”
“Oh! Is she engaged?”
“Not yet; that's what the coconut's for.”
I'm a firm believer that if you say something enough times, it happens.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know it but coconuts rot pretty fast and Gwynne threw it in the trash while I wasn’t looking. “There’s still the Engagement Slim Jim, Engagement Chocolate Chips, and the Engagement Cracker Jacks,” I told her. “Heather can’t get out of it that easy.”

Slim Jim.jpg

I wouldn't even be writing this if my plan hadn't have worked. It only took a little over a year, and Heather got engaged. Just think how long it would have taken without the coconut?

Ring.jpg

[Speaker to Animals]

Congratulations. More Hash bambinos on the way.