Safety

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Martin Hash
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Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:02 pm

Safety

Post by Martin Hash » Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:08 pm

Bob the Handyman does odd jobs around our building. He put in some wood floors, and he fixes things. We were thinking about redoing the roof, and Bob thought he might be up to it so he went up to the roof to check things out. Five minutes later he hurried down the stairs.

“There’s a safety inspector scoping us out,“ Bob said breathlessly. “I could see him hiding behind a truck in the street. He had a video camera pointed my way so I hid behind the chimney until I could sneak back down here.”

“What?!” I asked incredulously. “Aren’t you being just a little bit paranoid?”

“No, really,” exclaimed Bob. “I recognize that guy.”

“How’d he get here so fast?” I asked, perplexed.

“Those safety guys are like that,” Bob explained. “Fifty yards away, and he could tell my three-point harness wasn’t snapped.” Bob pointed across the street. “Here he comes! I’ve got to hide,” and Bob was gone.

The Safety Inspector looked around for a while then asked if I worked there, I said yes, and he went right into his spiel. “First off, the raisers to these stairs are too steep,” he pointed out officiously.

I just looked at him meekly.

The Safety Inspector scowled. “I’m going to have to fine you.”

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“There’s no first aid kit on the roof,” he said.

“On the roof?” I asked.

“And I’ll have to fine you again because no one is this building has had a safety class in the past sixty days.”

“Safety class?” I asked.

“And, there’s a ladder that extends above the edge of the building, and you have no emergency plan in case of an accident, and where are your safety posters?”

“Safety posters?” I asked. “We write computer software.”

The safety inspector waved his video camera for emphasis. “It’s all on tape,” he assured me, smugly. “Who owns this business?”

“Uhhh… He’s not here,” I said. “He’s at a safety course.”

“Well, I’m going to need to get his address. Do you have his card?”

“Uhhh… He doesn’t have a card, and I don’t know where he lives.”

The inspector eyed me suspiciously. “When he gets these citations,” he said. “They must be posted publicly so everyone can see.”

I smiled, “Oh… I’m sure he’ll do that.”

Now, Bob the Handyman only works on the roof when it’s “safe” – nights and weekends.
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