Turning 50

[Martin Hash]

The biggest birthdays are those that signal a changing of an era, with 50 being one of the biggest by far because it signals Middle Age. That makes it one of the most celebrated birthdays – just ask Hallmark. My wife, Gwynne’s, big 50th was approaching and the anticipation was high. My youngest son, Haven, came home from college to help buy appropriate gifts with my other two children, Heath and Heather, and I. We all went through the mall picking out things “mom would like.” When we got home, because the event was so momentous, Heather wrapped all the gifts and stacked them high on the coffee table in the Living Room.

I thought it strange that Gwynne was having furtive phone conversations with her family in California – I suspected something to do with her birthday but she was not forthcoming with the particulars so it was only a vague outline. She asked me if I’d be available to go anywhere on the weekend of her birthday and I said, no, I had some important things but I’d be here.

As the grand day approached, tension was crackling in the air. I’d had clues that Gwynne’s family was coming to Washington State for her birthday but she didn’t seem too concerned – no getting rooms ready or stocking up food.

Saturday, the day before Gwynne’s 50th birthday: my dad was over using his tractor to help put a Live Steam Train track in the backyard when Gwynne’s family pulled up in our driveway unannounced. I went outside, curious that some of her relatives were waiting in the minivan, and while my dad was walking over to say, hi, they loaded up and drove away before he got there.

“What was that all about?” my dad asked.

I shrugged then was surprised to see Gwynne come out of our house, get in her car and drive away – for three days! She had her 50th Birthday on the Oregon Coast with the people in that van and left her husband and three children at home to stare dumbly at the stack of gifts on the coffee table. My son went back to school.

Those gifts were there on the coffee table, wrapped, for a couple weeks, then Heather moved them to a bathroom. After a couple months of stepping around them, Heather couldn’t stand it any longer so her and Gwynne opened them one day. Heather commented, “that was the worst birthday, ever.”

For my part, when my 50th Birthday came along a couple years later - Gwynne was not invited. My youngest son drove from school to see me in Spokane for the Washington State Democratic Convention where I was an elector for Barack Obama. My other children called and wished me a good one. It was one of the best birthdays ever.